I ate bird's nest tonight!
My friend Steve came in to Shanghai tonight from the States. We've been talking about and anticipating a pork fest for weeks now, and tonight was finally going to be the night, but Jim in his infinite wisdom categorically refused to return to one of the Cantonese restaurants I've been obsessively frequenting since I got here. So we substituted in Shanghainese food, Jim's choice. Shanghainese is similar to Cantonese but tends to be a bit sweeter. We got there a bit late by Chinese dinnertime standards -- 8 p.m. Amazingly, they were already out of pork! A debacle, to say the least. A complete and utter catastrophe. As usual, Jim fucked everything up.
Trying to make the best out of the dismal state of affairs, I decided to splurge a bit and order a snazzy desert. Some strawberry cream dish looked appetizing and I was about to get it when I noticed that there was mango pudding with bird's nest on the menu. (For a discussion of bird's nest, please consult my previous blog.) Bird's nest is incredibly expensive, but there was just a small sprinkling of the bird spit on top of the pudding. It looked like tiny pale strands, almost like rice noodles. I had to try it, and for 48 RMB (around 7 bucks), it was an economical option.
Jim's wife Jesse (she's Shanghainese, her name isn't really Jesse, but Jim told me they gave her that name because Westerners are generally too stupid to be able to pronounce her Chinese name. He told me her name and I had to agree, I'm too stupid to pronounce her Chinese name) protested. "Bird's nest is for women. It's good for their skin. You can't have that. You eat the pudding and I'll eat the bird's nest."
Me: "Jim, keep your wife away from my bird's nest."
Jim: "I'm not getting between this. You ladies fight it out."
Me: "Careful, I can hit like a girl."
The bird's nest mango pudding arrived and I dutifully wolfed it down. It really didn't taste like anything, I'm sorry to say.
But now I can say I've eaten bird's nest.
Later we went to this club called The Glamour Bar and sipped mojitos with a magnificent view overlooking the Bund and the high tech skyscrapers of Pudong. There was absinthe on the menu. Another night in Shanghai. (Edit: The next night I drank absinthe. One word: Lobotomy. 60 percent alcohol, a total mind eraser.)
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