No Country For Squeamish Men

I've been enjoying the meat here in China, and not just because I'm coming off two months of relative deprivation in India.  But as I've been exposed to more and more dishes, I've come to the surprising conclusion that compared to the Chinese, I'm a rather squeamish eater.  We visited a town called Hangzhou this weekend about a 2.5 hour drive outside Shanghai, which is primarily famous for the beautiful West Lake.  It's a busy tourist spot but it's still a bit chilly and off-season so we didn't see much in the way of crowds.  Friday night we went to a local restaurant.  Chinese restaurants generally hand out a single menu, and it seems to be customary for one person to order for the entire table.  Usually I sit back and say yes or no to various pork dishes and let Jim and his wife do the rest.  This time around they told me about a pork specialty where they slowly cook the meat over the course of 7 hours.  The picture depciting the dish looked a little dodgy, a vaguely rubbery reddish sheen to the meat, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt.  When the dish arrived, I realized why the meat appeared strange.  I was looking at the top part, specifically the skin, and I inspected more closely and could see a few hairs poking out.  I gotta admit it, I gagged slightly at this point.  It didn't help when I picked it up -- and the meat was so tender from being cooked that long that I could pick it up by stabbing it with a chopstick -- there was at least an inch of fat beneath the skin before there appeared a layer of what I normally think of as pork.  I plowed through it like a trooper but I was on the verge of being somewhat nauseated the whole time (pictures forthcoming).  The consistency of it was vaguely gelatinous.

The following night I ate what looked like a pyramid of pork (pics also forthcoming) and when I unwrapped the meat, it looked exactly like bacon but as I got to the center of the dish, it was almost all fat.  You were supposed to remove a few pieces of this bacon pork and wrap it in a flour pouch with some Chinese broccoli.  Not bad, but I couldn't finish it.  I'm totally starting to feel like a lightweight at this point.  The textures of authentic Chinese food are very different from what you get in the States.  Also, there's also very little rice used with these dishes.   

Saturday morning's meal was, however, 100% awesome.  It was at least the third or fourth time I've had Dim Sum since I've arrived in China and so far I give Cantonese cuisine a big double thumbs up.  We got two orders of my favorite dumpling, which encase the pork in a tiny pool of chicken broth that arrives steaming hot.  I've learned to carefully puncture the dumpling after I've eagerly shoved it into my mouth to release a thin stream of the broth so that I can eat it hot without burning my tongue.  I've had to cultivate this skill because I'm far too impatient to let the dumplings cool off and they always arrive just north of safe to eat. We ordered some BBQ Pork Buns, slivers of pork in a doughy bun covered in a sweet sauce.  Exquisite.  (If you have any question as to why I'm obsessed with BBQ Pork Buns, check out the old HK flick The Untold Story starring Anthony Wong.) 

As we were finishing the meal, my friends launched into conversation about the various types of exotic meats the Chinese eat.  Apparently, the Chinese will eat just about anything.  There's pork tongue, duck tongue, beef tongue, lungs, chicken feet, pig knuckle, pig gristle, livers, brains, and kidneys.  There's a dish called "Drunken Shrimp," a delicacy where the shrimp arrive at the table alive in an alcohol based sauce.  You're supposed to eat the shrimp while they're still kicking because it enhances the flavor.  Jim admitted he couldn't stomach eating the drunken shrimp until it stopped moving.  Now it gets really weird, because you can also eat something called bird's nest.  There are at least two kinds.  Bird's nest sells for an exorbinant price because someone has to climb to death-defying heights on a cliff to locate these nests.  Did I mention that these nests are made from regurgitated bird bile?  The bird saliva hardens when exposed to the air and forms a nest.  It's a whitish, gelatinous substance.  Part of its popularity in Asia stems from its reputation as an aphrodisiac.  There's another kind of bird's nest made from regurgitated blood.  I saw some of the latter selling in a high end Hangzhou supermarket for 800 USD.  I'm not making any of this up, google that shit. 

I also heard about probably the first type of meat that I refuse to eat for ethical reasons.  Skip the rest of this paragraph if you're a dog lover.  You've probably heard that the Chinese eat dog.  Well, they're not the only Asian country to fancy dog meat.  It's a specialty in Indonesia, where they believe that adrenaline enhances the taste of dog meat.  How do you adrenalize dog meat?  By beating a dog to death.  Yeesh.  No, thanks.  Completely appalling.  Anyway, dog meat is more popular in the North, like Beijing, so I doubt I'll run across it in Shanghai, which is south.

I suppose part of my culture shock in Chinese restaurants stems from the fact that Western cuisine sanitizes death.  Yeah, we gnaw on bones and we eat skin and cheeks and we like our meat rare and all that, but the presentation de-emphasizes the grisliness of meat.  The Chinese make no such genteel concessions.  I don't find the unflinching nature of Chinese cuisine offensive, but it doesn't always inspire my appetite.  Maybe it's time for a salad?  The only time I've been offended by a Chinese restaurant was when I walked into a KFC tonight and found out that they DON'T SELL BISCUITS.  Totally unconscionable.  (Apparently KFC is the longest-running fast food chain in China and enjoys 100% brand recognition.)

Apologies to my hippie yoga chick friends and other vegetarian friends (i.e., Pellet).   

Comments

[Geetu]

this post made me nauseous. i'll probably skip over this set of pictures when you post them.

[Adam]

Dude. Ugh.
Giving up meat for me was a health choice more than animal ethical choice, but it is funny how many times this entry made me gag now that I don't partake in the delights of chicken, pork, bird's nests and what not.
The hippie in me can only say,
"Keep truckin'."

Ha ha ha ha!!

[Heather]

Ironically, I just saw A Cook's Tour last night where Anthony Bourdain ate Birds' Nest soup, made up of the mucousy nest as you desribed, along with some whole rock ducks (beak, face and all) and other sundries. Aside from the gag factor and the financially prohibitive price, I would also recommend steering clear since he ended up writing and groaning on his bed after eating it!!

[JJB]

"I'm a rather squeamish eater"

Funny I think......

Happy Birthday My Friend